Over the past four years as I’ve taught about a thousand students I’ve learned that to be effective for Christ and make an impact in their lives, I’ve got to reject people pleasing and decide each day instead to respect and stand in awe of Him. I also know that it’s impossible to fear both God and man, just like it’s impossible to love God and money. Yet, it’s easy to fall into the sin of loving human praise more than praise from God (Jn 12:43). The outcome, unfortunately, is a trap (Prov 29:25) and results in forfeiting the joyful presence of the Lord, along with eternal rewards.
Throughout the winter I’ve been calling out to God for wisdom to overcome this sin, because quite honestly it has stolen my peace and left me feeling afraid. Though I’d gained a lot of insight from reading Fighting Fear with Fear by Wayne Mack and meditating on God’s promises, I still sensed when the semester started that I needed a breakthrough. Thankfully, I recently had a long weekend to pray and read and even go on a hike alone.
Walking up the mountain behind our apartment, I decided instead of going on the curvy trails which always get me lost I’d just walk straight up until I couldn’t walk anymore. I knew it would get my heart rate up, which I desperately needed, and free my mind not to worry about losing my way.
About three fourths of the way up the trail I came to a fork, with one path curving a little then continuing straight up the mountain and the other flattening out and, I’m guessing, eventually heading back down. That’s when the thought hit me: I was at a fork just like this in my classrooms, and God was giving me a choice over which path to take. I stood looking at the totally different paths and the implications of taking them. If I chose the hard way I would reach a higher more beautiful point, be physically challenged and have the opportunity for a greater sense of accomplishment. If I went on the other path, I could relax and have a peaceful, predictable walk right back to where I started.
In life I had a similar choice to make. I could either keep proclaiming Christ despite some opposition and hardship for the sake of God’s glory and experience a deeper relationship with Him, new opportunities and a chance to share in the fellowship of His sufferings. Or I could take the easy way – to stay a people pleaser and strive to maintain peace at the expense of God’s name.
While I was thinking about it, I turned around and looked back down the steep mountain path that I’d spent the last twenty minutes climbing and realized that I’d spent the past four years getting to the place I was now. If I decided to retreat out of fear of man I’d lose all that I’d fought for – all the times I’d kept moving forward even when it was hard and I thought I couldn’t make it. God had given me grace to get this far, and He was going to keep giving me grace if I’d walk with Him in trust. The only thing I had to lose was the fear of man, which was tormenting me anyway!
I knew this hike wasn’t just another walk and that God had brought me here so I could make a decision: Was I going to be for Him, to gather with Him, to stand in His corner or not? I took the rock I was carrying and carved a cross in the dirt at the fork. “I choose you, Lord, even if people reject me and I suffer."
As I turned to walk back down the mountain I knew God answered my prayers for wisdom and insight about how to overcome this fear. The only way to break free from it is by moving forward with Him, one day at a time, one step at a time, refusing to hide Christ, refusing to let anyone intimidate me into being silent about who He is and what He’s done for me.
Tomorrow and the weeks ahead will be the real test as I go back into the classroom where I’ll face a lot of people. I know that because of the Gospel some will love me and others will not -- even though I'm committed to sharing Christ with tenderness, humility and compassion. Regardless of how they respond, I believe the Holy Spirit has given me a renewed determination to go in with a passion for His glory that exceeds my desire to be praised.
I want to be able to say at the end of each day, “I did not hide your righteousness in my heart; I spoke about your faithfulness and salvation; I did not conceal your constant love and truth from the great assembly.” (Ps 40:10).
“Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls." Jer 6:16
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls." Jer 6:16
