Up from the Ashes

     I've never lost a home to a fire, but I’ve witnessed my grandmother's possessions burn to the ground leaving almost nothing behind. All those years of stored memories and treasures were gone in an instant; their charred remains lay unrecognizable on the ground. As my family stood helplessly by wondering how they could surmount such a loss, I was confident that over time, with God’s help, they would find healing and renewal.
     That hope, or certainty, that God will step in and restore what’s been lost is what propels me on each day as I wake up in a place that’s not my home with an ache for our daughter who is thousands of miles away. As our older daughter, who is now a senior, dashes about trying to get out the door in time for school, I’m reminded that she too will be off to college soon, leaving me with an empty home and heart. As these scenarios play out in my mind, it’s only through God’s promises that I find comfort and understanding. God is good and overflowing with compassion. I believe that with all my heart. I know that He looks upon my losses with tenderness, but the house continues to burn. So I struggle to make sense of it; I wrestle to merge the reality of life’s disappointments with his promises.
        At the moment, I’m standing outside looking up at the smoke, watching much of what I’ve worked for seemingly disappear into nothing.  The fumes burn my eyes as I strain to assess what’s salvageable. I see remnants of memories scorched by the fire, too damaged to keep but still reminding me of life in that place we once called family. I can’t sit here forever. God is calling me to come, to rise up from the ashes and to follow him, my husband and my daughters as they continue on their faith journey.
     The sun shines brilliantly over the horizon as I finally pick up my suitcases and turn to follow. Mark keeps calling and motioning for me to come; I hear the girls’ laughter and see their dancing figures ahead. With each step the air becomes fresher, clearer. The dread that held me back gives way to a sense of courage as I look upon the beauty and freedom in the distance.  On the ground just beneath my feet tiny flowers are starting to bloom. Tips of pink, yellow and violet peek from under their dusty brown covering, promising new life. I glance at the sunshine sparkling on the water and the trees peacefully swaying in the wind, then back down at the delicate buds on the verge of something miraculous. God reminds me that he’s got a good plan for my future, one I didn’t see or understand, but one filled with meaning and purpose. Hope is calling me up from the ashes-- not to forget the past, but to turn my gaze upon his promises so that I can be fully alive in the present and future -- free to build new memories and experience his joyful restoration.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer 29:11