Freedom from Bitterness

Bitterness has a way of wrapping its long arms around us and literally squeezing the life out of our souls -- if we let it. Anything from a snide comment to a broken promise can spark anger or hurt in our lives, which if left unchecked quickly morphs into bitterness. It’s deadly, and it spreads. Our anger spews out into the lives of those around us and like a wildfire consumes everything in its path (Heb. 12:15).

I remember hearing the quote “hurting people hurt people” when I was younger. I halfway believed it, but more than anything thought it was a weak attempt to explain away cruel behavior.  The longer I live and the more I experience the pain of bitterness, the more I realize how true the statement is. We’re all hurting to some degree, but those who aren’t casting their burdens on the Lord and receiving his healing grace and mercy are the ones consumed by and defiling others with their anger.

     

I went through a period of about five months when we first arrived in Korea when I was so angry at God for bringing me here I could barely breathe. My anger was the first emotion I felt in the morning and at night, and the feeling that ran through my veins throughout the day. With bitterness lurking inside, a small inconvenience could summon me to a point of rage. Life was miserable for me and, as a result, unbearable for my family and others who had had to be around me. I jumped on offenses, quickly misjudged motives, and thought the worst of many situations. My biblical worldview with God at the center had shifted, and my own right to happiness and comfort became my central focus. Because I believed I’d been dealt the wrong set of cards, I excused my anger, allowed it to stay, and began a bitter journey that left many casualties, including my own heart.

     

Refusing to repent and forgive is more dangerous than our human minds can grasp. That’s why God continually warns us about its consequences (Eph 4:31-32, Col 3:8, 2 Tim 2:24, Jas 1:19-20). We read about the anger of Cain, Esau, Saul and Samson, to name a few, and we watch with trepidation as it destroys lives and kingdoms. Each day the news is filled with stories of anger out of control, and we’re often shocked, even stunned, at what people are capable of doing. But rarely do we make the connection between the evil action and the seemingly incidental root of bitterness that began as a small seed of anger. We tend to think it's our right to nurse a grudge, but later discover that the anger has become lethal.
     

God gives us some specific ways to handle hurt and anger rather than stuffing it and letting bitterness consume us.

      

Put on the full armor of God (Eph 6:10-18). We’re to meditate on his Word daily and know who we are in Christ so that "when the day of evil comes we can take our stand." Offenses and difficulties will (not may) happen, and we’re to be prepared for them, not in paranoia, but in realistic anticipation that we may well get hurt. When we stand in our gifted identity in Christ we are not easily knocked down. We put on each piece of God's armor by declaring in faith that we trust in God's perfect provision for our walk of faith to live in his truth, righteousness, peace, faithfulness, hope, and powerful spoken word as we pray continually. This enables us to go into the day in a position of submission with the supreme desire and commitment to trust him. He empowers us to walk in his Spirit's power and not our own so that when the hour of trouble comes we can remain standing...and standing firm with our feet solidly planted on the Rock (Eph. 6:11).

Be still and know that he is God (Ps 46:10). This literally means to relax and know that he’s God. When we encounter hardships, persecution and suffering we need to remind ourselves that God is on his throne and for whatever divine reason he has allowed our trial (Ps 103:19). Whining and complaining won’t make it go away. But remembering God’s sovereignty, his goodness and his commitment to empower and uphold us, enables us to walk by faith and respond according to his perfect, pure and Proven Word instead of in the flesh (Ps 145:8, Is 43:2-3, Eph 4:31-32).

Pray for our enemies (Matt 5:44). Instead of replaying disappointments or offenses over and over in our minds, we can release the desire for vengeance to God, allowing him to bring discipline in his perfect timing (Rom 12:19). With confidence that the righteous Judge is in control, we're free to pray blessings upon our enemies that we and they would repent and be restored.

Bless those who curse us (Lk 6:28) . God says we’re to bless them in prayer and do good to the people who hurt us. This often means taking a step of faith to do something intentionally kind for the person who has possibly done something intentionally evil toward us (Lk 6:35). We’re told to “Be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves,” which means taking steps of kindness not with a naive spirit but in God’s wisdom, asking how we should respond.

Resist the devil and he will flee (Jas 4:7). Every time the temptation comes to hate our enemy or grumble about our circumstances, we can cling to God and resist the devil by standing firm in our faith (1 Pet 5:9). God promises that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear and that his grace will sustain us if we rely on him (1 Cor 10:13). We're able to stand firm in the face of temptation as we abide in the Word and in prayer, fixing our eyes on God and not our problems. 

Speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15).  After seeking God in prayer for wisdom and acknowledging our own sin, we need to go to the offender. We can lovingly, not with accusation, explain why we feel angry or hurt. If they listen, then they’ve shown themselves wise (Prov 9:8, 15:32). If they refuse to listen or acknowledge any wrongdoing, then we simply turn them over to the Lord’s discipline and allow him to bring about repentance.

God wants us to have inner peace and to live peacefully with others as much as we're able (Rom 12:18). Walking in thankfulness and love is something we're capable of doing only as we abide in Christ, trusting in his resurrection power at work in us, and doing what our Lord both models and commands. As we see in the Gospels and read in Hebrews, our Great High Priest has suffered in every way but was without sin (Heb 4:15). He is at the Father's right hand interceding for us and ready to help when we cry out to him. In, with and through him we can do all things (Rom 8:34; Phil 4:13).

"What is impossible with men is possible with God" (Lk 18:27).

You Need Only Be Still

Of all the battle scenes in the Old Testament, the account of the Israelites pressed up against the Red Sea with Pharaoh and his army closing in on them is my favorite -- not because I enjoy the seeming impossibility of their situation but because I love watching the Lord's miraculous deliverance. Based on all human reasoning, their position is one of utter defeat. If they move forward they are certain to drown in the sea, and if they turn back they'll be destroyed by the Egyptians or taken back into slavery. But what looks like a place of hopelessness and complete loss to human eyes is the very spot where God intends to show his glory so that everyone will know that he alone is the Lord (Exodus 14:4). 

As we look at the details of this epic war story, it's clear that God is not just one of the officers in the battle, he's the Commanding General and the Colonel of the Israelites -- the Warrior King who strategizes and implements every aspect of the battle. Even on the enemy lines, he is at work powerfully hardening Pharaoh's heart so that he and his army shift from peaceful surrender to pursuit (14:4). As a result, he reverses his decision to let the Israelites go, realizing he has lost all of his slave labor and the ability to prosper. Taking up 600 of his best chariots, he and the army march out after the Israelites in what seems to be an easy takeover (14:7-9).  They just have no idea Who they are up against!

When the Israelites look up and see this mighty army marching toward them "They were terrified" (10). Their immediate response in fear is to second guess Moses', and ultimately God's, decision to take them out of the land and deliver them from slavery. In their reasoning, it is better to be a living slave nation than a dead one, and they want to go back and serve the Egyptians. Moses, however, is filled with faith and courage, enabling him to see the same situation from God's perspective as he commands them, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (13:14).

Even after Moses expresses confidence in God's military power and promises, he continues praying, crying out for help. God stops him and says it's time to "move on":  "Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground" (14:15-16). He assures him again that he will receive glory through this victory so that the Egyptians, who were living in hardened unbelief, will finally know that he alone is God (14:18).  He strategically directs the angel of the Lord to fall behind them and places the cloud behind them as well to cause darkness to fall over the Egyptians, while allowing light to illumine the path of the Israelites (14:19-20). 

In faith, Moses holds out his staff as commanded, and God sends a powerful wind to drive back the sea on both sides and dry up the seabed so that all the Israelites can pass through (21). As the Egyptians are in pursuit of them, the Lord brings confusion over the army, even causing the wheels to fall off their chariots. It becomes evident that they are not fighting a regular battle but a supernatural one against the Warrior King and they testify to this saying, "The Lord is fighting for them against Egypt" (25).  God causes the powerful rushing waters to "flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horseman" (26), drowning them in the sea so that not even one man survives (28). Meanwhile, all the Israelites are safe on shore, where they begin celebrating God's power and glory as their deliverer and defender and "put their trust in him and in Moses his servant" (14:31). 

After reading this account again today I am wonderfully reminded that there is never any reason to fear the opposition as long as I'm standing in God's protective shelter and trusting in his deliverance. I can in confidence know that he is the same Warrior King who goes to battle today just as he did thousands of years ago when he fought for Israel. He's able to harden the hearts of the wicked so that they hotly pursue his people, seeking to destroy them, while at the same time commanding "his angels" to guard and hold his beloved in his hands so that they do not "strike [their] foot against a stone" (Psalm 91:11-12). This gives me confidence to continue crying out for God's help in prayer, knowing that the Lord will fight for me, and I only need to remain still (Exodus 14:13-14). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtvQNzPHn-w

In reading through Mark's Gospel this week, I've been deeply encouraged by Jesus' honesty with the disciples when they were struggling to walk in Christlike-love toward one another and outsiders. When James and John vied for the best seats in heaven and the others found out and become "indignant", Jesus warned them all that "He who wants to be first must be slave of all" (Mark 10:44). Again, when the disciples were setting themselves above others who were driving out demons and trying to stop their work, Jesus reminded them that "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves and be at peace with each other" (Mark 9:50). 

Jesus warned that they were not appointed judges over one another. While he gave them the responsibility to "Judge a tree according to its fruit" (Luke 6:43-45), this was never an open invitation for them to sit in judgement over a person's heart or their motives based on their understanding of a situation. If they chose to do this anyway, he promised they would be judged by the same measure (Matthew 7:2), which would not be pleasant.

I've learned that it's easy to walk in this kind of superficial, critical judgment, especially when I'm not allowing the Spirit to convict me of my own sins. Jesus said that if we simply look at another person lustfully we have committed adultery in our heart (Matthew 5:28). Or if we hate someone, we've spiritually murdered them. And John says that this is a matter of life or death: "You know that no murderer has eternal life in him" (1 John 3:15). If we're living in true awareness of our utter sinfulness and condemnation apart from the saving blood of Jesus, our attitude will be one of grace toward those who do not meet our demands and expectations. Like the tax collector, instead of condemning others we will beat our breast in the presence of God in sorrow for the sins we've committed (Luke 18:9-14).

In addition to these reasons, there are others that show why unkind judgment is forbidden by the Lord: 

Things are not always the way they appear (Proverbs 18:13): This can be seen in the story of the woman caught in adultery and how Jesus responded to the Pharisees' accusations regarding her guilt and their reasoning that she deserved to be stoned. He gave them complete freedom to throw the first stone if they were innocent in the matter (John 8:7). Instead of throwing rocks, they experienced God's conviction in their consciences of their personal guilt and "Went out one by one, beginning with the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst." This same kind of superficial judgement occurred when the "sinful" woman anointed Jesus' feet with perfume and Simon the Pharisee had contempt for her. Jesus' rebuke to Simon showed that he had judged incorrectly and, as a result, had dishonored God (Luke 7:36-50).

Unkind judgment is often linked to hypocrisy (Matthew 6:2): I am challenged by the reminder that the Pharisees, who were so quick to find the speck in someone else's eye, had a log in their own (Matthew 7:5). Jesus told them to first deal with their own huge sins of lust, hate, greed and idolatry and then they would be able to address the "speck" in their neighbor's eye. Though they were committing the sins they accused everyone else of committing, they were completely blind to them. This same hypocrisy was seen in Cephas' life, a believer, when he shifted his focus from God to man and began fearing and seeking the praise of man over God (Galatians 2:11-14). 

Slander is unkind judgment put to words (Proverbs 19:5): The Bible speaks a lot about slander and gossip, so much so that 1 Corinthians 6:10 and Revelation 22:15 say that those who continually practice this sin will not inherit eternal life. I have often wondered why slander is so offensive to God and believe that it's because ruining or harming someone's name is a destruction of their nature as image bearers (James 3:9-12). God calls us each by name and kindly addresses many of the prophets, disciples and others by their name. He forbids us from taking his name in vain, showing that the words we use to identify him are extremely important (Exodus 20:7). Since we are made in his image and created to reflect his glory in Christ, when someone slanders our name it is a reflection on his character and nature in us (Acts 9:4)! 

We've all witnessed this kind of slander and evil judgment and know how devastating it can be. Praying today that the Lord will keep reminding me of the seriousness of this sin so that I remain in his grace, showing others mercy and allowing him to be the Just Judge who alone is able to discern the heart of man.