Casting Our Cares

Standing on a patchwork of slate colored stones, I looked out over the serene ocean with a renewed sense of awe. We’d just finished walking down twisting, jagged stairs and along an ocean front that appeared to be untouched by Korean hands. As we walked, we found freedom in the quiet beauty to talk unrestrained about God, life, dreams and disappointments. Old issues that we’d brought up so many times before somehow gained renewed vigor as they blended almost seamlessly with new ideas and passions fresh on our hearts. 

Something else amazing happened as we breathed in gusts of cool, salty air and watched the sun gently slip behind the mountains. I glanced down at the massive array of stones that I’d seen so many times before and had an idea. “Want to do something fun?” I asked Mark before handing him a large, smooth stone that was sitting right beside my foot. I chose another one for myself – big enough to signify something weighty, but not too heavy to hold. Grasping mine, I shared with him what I wanted to do which was just a visual demonstration of 1 Peter 5:7.  With that we began something that initially felt a little awkward but ended up making a deep impression on us both. We started taking turns sharing our burdens and dreams, praying God’s promises over them and then hurling the stones into the ocean.

As we stood on the shore throwing the oversized stones as far out as we possibly could, I realized that the command in 1 Peter implies a similar exertion. Casting isn’t meant to be effortless or easy, but an aggressive, intentional act of releasing a burden. It’s not natural for me, but instead something I often neglect out of fear or uncertainty that God will take care of the burdens I'm releasing.

The whole experience of letting go of our cares as we prayed together also created a striking picture in my mind of what a living faith looks like. It’s active, determined, refusing to stand under the weight of burdens we weren’t created to carry. It’s a faith that says to God, “I believe you want to carry my load, and so I’m giving it to you now!”

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when the Israelites set up stones of remembrance so that they wouldn’t forget the great works God had accomplished in their lives. Casting stones has become a way for Mark and me to make a mental memorial, creating  a lasting impression on our minds of surrendering our burdens to God. When these same fears and worries try to come back, we can recall standing together with unburdened hearts, enjoying the freedom of a lightened load and resting in the assurance od God's great care.  

"Casting the whole of your care on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” 1 Pet 5:7

A Fork in the Road

I never realized I had a problem with fearing people or people pleasing until I started teaching college students in Korea. Before, I’d mostly interacted with family and friends since I stayed at home for many years. Now I'm going into 12 classrooms a week and facing up to 100 students with different needs and personalities – all from a culture completely different from mine.  I started out doing everything I could to build a bridge so we could connect, which in many ways was good, but in others became fuel for people pleasing.

Over the past four years as I’ve taught about a thousand students I’ve learned that to be effective for Christ and make an impact in their lives, I’ve got to reject people pleasing and decide each day instead to respect and stand in awe of Him. I also know that it’s impossible to fear both God and man, just like it’s impossible to love God and money. Yet, it’s easy to fall into the sin of loving human praise more than praise from God (Jn 12:43).  The outcome, unfortunately, is a trap (Prov 29:25) and results in forfeiting the joyful presence of the Lord, along with eternal rewards.

Throughout the winter I’ve been calling out to God for wisdom to overcome this sin, because quite honestly it has stolen my peace and left me feeling afraid.  Though I’d gained a lot of insight from reading Fighting Fear with Fear by Wayne Mack and meditating on God’s promises, I still sensed when the semester started that I needed a breakthrough. Thankfully, I recently had a long weekend to pray and read and even go on a hike alone.

Walking up the mountain behind our apartment, I decided instead of going on the curvy trails which always get me lost I’d just walk straight up until I couldn’t walk anymore. I knew it would get my heart rate up, which I desperately needed, and free my mind not to worry about losing my way.

About three fourths of the way up the trail I came to a fork, with one path curving a little then continuing straight up the mountain and the other flattening out and, I’m guessing, eventually heading back down.  That’s when the thought hit me: I was at a fork just like this in my classrooms, and God was giving me a choice over which path to take.  I stood looking at the totally different paths and the implications of taking them. If I chose the hard way I would reach a higher more beautiful point, be physically challenged and have the opportunity for a greater sense of accomplishment. If I went on the other path, I could relax and have a peaceful, predictable walk right back to where I started.

In life I had a similar choice to make. I could either keep proclaiming Christ despite some opposition and hardship for the sake of God’s glory and experience a deeper relationship with Him, new opportunities and a chance to share in the fellowship of His sufferings.  Or I could take the easy way – to stay a people pleaser and strive to maintain peace at the expense of God’s name.

While I was thinking about it, I turned around and looked back down the steep mountain path that I’d spent the last twenty minutes climbing and realized that I’d spent the past four years getting to the place I was now. If I decided to retreat out of fear of man I’d lose all that I’d fought for – all the times I’d kept moving forward even when it was hard and I thought I couldn’t make it. God had given me grace to get this far, and He was going to keep giving me grace if I’d walk with Him in trust. The only thing I had to lose was the fear of man, which was tormenting me anyway!

I knew this hike wasn’t just another walk and that God had brought me here so I could make a decision: Was I going to be for Him, to gather with Him, to stand in His corner or not?  I took the rock I was carrying and carved a cross in the dirt at the fork. “I choose you, Lord, even if people reject me and I suffer."

As I turned to walk back down the mountain I knew God answered my prayers for wisdom and insight about how to overcome this fear. The only way to break free from it is by moving forward with Him, one day at a time, one step at a time, refusing to hide Christ, refusing to let anyone intimidate me into being silent about who He is and what He’s done for me.

Tomorrow and the weeks ahead will be the real test as I go back into the classroom where I’ll face a lot of people. I know that because of the Gospel some will love me and others will not -- even though I'm committed to sharing Christ with tenderness, humility and compassion. Regardless of how they respond, I believe the Holy Spirit has given me a renewed determination to go in with a passion for His glory that exceeds my desire to be praised.

I want to be able to say at the end of each day, “I did not hide your righteousness in my heart; I spoke about your faithfulness and salvation; I did not conceal your constant love and truth from the great assembly.” (Ps 40:10).

“Stand at the crossroads and look;
    ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
    and you will find rest for your souls." Jer 6:16