Better Plans than My Own

Six months after becoming a Christian, the Lord began calling me to missions and seminary. I knew little about hearing from God or discerning his leading, but he clearly showed me that my career in advertising was ending. At the end of work one day, once all my ads had been turned in, I sat down and wrote this poem the Lord had placed on my heart.

My life before salvation was built on chasing my own dreams and plans, which led to deep frustration and anxiety, because I couldn’t make life happen as I wanted. I watched as others seemed to achieve similar goals with little effort and wondered what was wrong with my life. As I started reading the Bible, I began to learn about God’s sovereignty. Though I wasn’t familiar with the term, the Spirit started to reveal to me that He, not I or anyone else, was in control of every detail in life -- from the falling of the tiniest sparrow to the ground to the rising of leaders and nations (Matthew 10:29; Proverbs 21:1; Job 12:23).

This week, as I've been reflecting on expectations I've had for the Christian life (some of which haven’t come true as I’d hoped), this poem has reminded me that everything happens on God’s timeline and according to His plan. While He wants me to work diligently, set realistic goals, and prepare for the future, He also calls me to surrender all of my life to Him -- holding my dreams loosely. He is the all-wise God who determines my steps (Proverbs 16:9). As I'm remembering this, I'm refocusing my gaze on this eternal truth: I have a good, sovereign Father who knows best and who goes before me to order my steps. I’m encouraged to rest in His unchanging love and faithfulness and release my grip on some expectations. This frees my hands to receive His gifts in His perfect timing and releases my heart to anticipate the good He has for me so that I can enjoy Him (James 1:17). 

God's Awesome Gift of Time

Who can make the sun shine

or cause the wind to blow,

or even change his brother’s mind

about things he doesn’t know.

Who can search God’s wisdom

or begin to see his thoughts.

And where’s the man who understands

His awesome list of oughts.

How can I then by worrying

change one thing in this world.

And what’s the use of scurrying

when his plans have not unfurled.

I cannot make tomorrow’s dreams

arise to life today,

as I cannot turn a baby’s screams

into words that grown-ups say.

The world is set on godly time,

and things happen at His pace,

I’m simply here to live it out

and humbly run the race.

So now that I have understood

God’s awesome gift of time,

I’ll press on toward my heavenly goal

and enjoy all that’s mine… today.