Then something happened. I lost my rhythm
last week and began feeling like a failure. Maybe it was an unresponsive class
or disorganized day, but it left me feeling empty. While I couldn’t put my
finger on what caused it, I began acting out what I felt like. Instead of going
into the class with confidence that something great was going to happen because
God had called me there, I went in expecting nothing, looking at my watch and
hoping that the hour would soon end. What had fueled me the week before was
zapping my energy now, threatening to drain the life out of me. My job hadn’t
changed, the students were the same. God was still with me. But, something had changed
in me.
As I was plugging in the CD player for my
sophomore English class this verse came to my mind: “Apart from me you can do
nothing.” Just like the CD player, I'm dependent on Christ's power in order to be truly alive and fruitful. I remembered that all my efforts and contributions were never any
guarantee of fruit and blessing, but that my confidence has to be grounded in
Christ and his ability to work in and through me. Not my gifts, my talents, my
charisma, my ability to do a good job with God’s help. But me with nothing,
absolutely nothing to give apart from him.
With this reminder I felt a fresh surge of
joy. God’s goodness and his desire to use my life brings purpose to everything in life, even the dull tasks that I'd otherwise have difficulty enduring. The emptiness that was gnawing at my heart gave way to the expectation
that God is at work in and through me. With him, through him, and by his Spirit
I can abound in every good work with a sense of power and purpose, bearing much
fruit unto his glory.
I hope you'll take a minute to listen to this song by Sara Groves. It's one of my favorites as it deals with this daily struggle to abide in Christ's love rather than living life in my own strength.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5zkOfSJSn4
I hope you'll take a minute to listen to this song by Sara Groves. It's one of my favorites as it deals with this daily struggle to abide in Christ's love rather than living life in my own strength.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5zkOfSJSn4