Love Never Fails!

      In class we’ve been talking about different scenarios and how we’d respond to them. One of our questions was, “What would you do if you hit someone’s car in a parking lot and no one was there to see it happen?” The responses of the students included everything from taking responsibility for the accident and leaving a note on the car to driving off quickly so no one could catch them. One student, a leader in our class, overheard some joking about it and said out loud, “I would not just drive off. If I did, I’d be trash.” In his mind, trash meant someone who had no code of ethics, someone who wasn’t committed to honoring Christ’s values over the world's.
     I know in the states we often use the word trash in a somewhat different context, but I appreciated his remark and it stuck with me as we were talking later that week about loving our enemies. Jesus said that if we love those who love us we’re no better than the tax collectors (Matt 5:46). Most of my students haven’t heard of a tax collector, so they just stared back at me with blank faces. Because I don’t know the Korean word for tax collector, I decided to use Jason’s word as a substitute and said, “If we only love those who love us, we’re no better than trash.” They immediately made the connection, and started nodding their heads.
     We started talking about what it means to love our enemies, to pray for those who abuse and misuse us and do all kinds of evil toward us. Jesus says we’re to bless them; not curse them. We’re to do good to them; not return evil for evil (Matt 5:44). The students and I know, without even having to say a word, that this kind of love is impossible apart from the grace and mercy of God. Our natural inclination is to get people back, put them in their place when they hurt us, demand retribution and make them suffer for any harm they’ve caused us. We often get revenge by passive and active aggression, which includes everything from ignoring the person to telling lies about them to destroy their reputation. Because it comes so naturally, it often feels good – at first. But after the dust settles, and the Spirit of God begins to work in our hearts, conviction sets in and we feel grieved. We lose the joy and peace of God and begin to live a fruitless, angry, bitter existence. Until we repent and walk in love, our lives lose their fragrance and vitality.
     On the other hand, if we dare to believe God that loving and blessing our enemies is the way to grow in grace, honor him, advance his Kingdom and even, many times, win the hearts of those who despise us, then we’ll be amazed at what happens. We may not see the results for weeks or even years. In fact, initially, we’ll often feel like we’re the big loser since we’re giving up the right to fight back with anger. But as we step out in faith through each interaction taking thoughts of evil and revenge captive to the obedience of Christ and refusing, by his grace, to retaliate, we’ll experience an ever increasing joy and peace and even love for those who we have absolutely no human reason to love. We begin to see the miracle of God’s grace unfolding as he opens more doors for us to share this truth with others, to encourage them to love, and we’re given a new spiritual freedom beyond our understanding to live abundant lives for the glory of God.
     Love never fails (1 Cor 13:12)! God always has and always will bless faith and obedience to his Word. He says in Psalm 23 that he “prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies.” He says also that he knows how to rescue the righteous from trials and from the wicked (2 Pet 2:9). It’s his job to avenge, not ours (Rom 12:19). It’s his great joy to lift up those who are oppressed and downtrodden, to anoint our heads with oil so that our cup of joy overflows. He’s our fortress, our deliverer, our refuge and our Lord. As he goes before us, he guarantees that “no weapon formed against us will prevail” and that he will fight our battles for us (Is 54:17, 2 Chr 20:17). We can relax and know that he means what he says, that as we pray for and bless our enemies and praise him for his faithfulness to his Word we’re already overcoming evil and taking part in the most incredible work on earth – being living vessels of his supernatural love. With this, our heart cry becomes, “May your Kingdom (of love and righteousness and peace) come. May your will be done.”

 “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Jn 13:35

Fully Alive

     Life is one of the most valuable gifts we’ve been given. God masterfully created each of us in his own image with unique talents, personalities and purpose. His greatest desire is that we find meaning in him so that we’re able to radiate his glory and experience fullness of life. As we daily abide in Christ, we become passionate about investing our lives and using our gifts in a important way that has eternal significance. We’re no longer content to live each day according to the world’s standards or simply for ourselves. Instead, our heart longs for significance and purpose – that God will use us to have an impact on the world.
     While we’re born with little understanding about God’s plans for us, as we mature we develop an increasing sense that we were created for a specific reason to fulfill a calling we’ve been given. God puts this longing within our hearts to do something beyond ourselves for his kingdom. Though sometimes we lose sight of this vision through setbacks and disappointments, deep inside we know we were made for something far greater than mere existence. We may or may not possess what others consider extraordinary talents, but we’ve each been given gifts. As we enter into a personal relationship with God through Christ, he helps us discover and develop these gifts and shows us how we can use them in life transforming ways.
     Imagine that we’re standing before two closed doors and can’t see what lies beyond them. One door has a sign that says, “Your plans and future the way you want it.” The other door reads, “God’s plans and his future for you.” Which one will we choose? The promise of the first door is tempting, because by entering it we think we’ll become the master of our lives and be given the power to make our dreams come true. It offers us the chance to design our lives the way we envision them.  The second door requires a leap of faith, because by entering it we agree to surrender our right to determine our future.  We give our lives over to God in trust and confidence that he’ll guide us down the right path to pursue the dreams and goals he has gifted us to fulfill. He guarantees that though we will have trials, our lives will overflow with a deep sense of purpose, power and love.
     When we choose the first door we become lord of our lives with a focus on how we can control and direct everything. We chase after things we believe will bring satisfaction and happiness, whether it’s money, relationships, power or position. In order accomplish what we want, we devise short and long term goals and pursue them with relentless passion, since attaining these goals is the core of our hope and future. However, the promises of this lifestyle are deceptive. When we reach our dreams apart from a relationship with God, we discover that it’s impossible for them to ever satisfy the deep longing of our hearts. In fact, the more we achieve the more dissatisfied and even miserable we become, because with each success we develop the insatiable desire for more. Life becomes an endless cycle of setting goals, striving to accomplish them and then pursing something bigger and better. On the other hand, when our plans don’t work out like we expected we are often struck with disappointment, frustration and even anger. Whether we succeed or fail at receiving what we think we want, we’re left with emptiness in our soul that magnifies the fact that we were created for something far greater, something much more significant.
     This emptiness often leads us to the second door, where we discover that there is an awesomely good, loving and powerful God who wants to free us from this vicious cycle of self destruction and striving after idols that can never satisfy. He daily calls out to us to put our trust in his Son, Jesus Christ, and stop depending on our own understanding. He says that if we’ll acknowledge him in all our ways, he will direct our paths and fulfill the deep desires of our heart (Prov 3:5-6). But following him comes with a cost. We have to release the plans we’ve so tenaciously held on to in the past and trust him to give us all that’s good for our lives – blessings that will benefit us holistically and bring him glory.
     God says in Jeremiah 29:11 that he knows the plans he has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. This is not a promise for financial prosperity or an easy life but instead a guarantee that God is always working everything (even the small details) for our ultimate good and his glory. As our loving Father, he genuinely cares about us, so much so that he’s numbered the hairs on our head and stores our tears in a bottle. He knows every desire we have, and as a father has compassion on his children so God has compassion on us. Because his love is perfect, he knows exactly what gifts to give us and how to take care of all our needs.
     In a world where we’re told to pursue power, possessions and prestige, we’re faced with challenging decisions about how we’ll invest our lives. Will we follow the dictates of the world, or will we follow God? Will we seek to live life our way, or will we live it God’s way according to his plans? There are two doors, two roads, and two completely different ways of life. The first door often seems like the right one, but the Bible says it ends in misery and eventually death.  The other door leads to life, peace and a future filled with purpose, along with many tests and trials to prove our faith. When we enter this door through trust in Jesus Christ and a surrendered heart, we begin to experience the abundant and eternal life we were created to have. We become fully alive! 

Life is Messy, but God Redeems All Things

 Life is messy, isn’t it? We’re born in a sterile world, greeted with radiant smiles of delight, and immediately given everything we need for life and comfort, if we’re blessed with loving parents. Our own children experience this same miraculous beginning. But we discover within hours that though we’re awestruck by the miracle of their birth, it's going to be a complicated adventure. I’ll never forget the first dirty diaper our older daughter produced and the look on my face when I saw it! As the years passed, laughter was intermingled with tears, fresh smocked dresses often gave way to mud stained pants from hours of play outside. Clean windows soon displayed handprint artwork and face smudges. Fast forward to the teen years when one minute’s excitement almost instantly fades to emotional outbursts of disappointment over some overlapping experience. We discover, not just in the beginning, but all along the journey, that life is both beautiful and messy.

I remember the days leading up the birth of both daughters and all the promises I made to God that I’d do everything I could to protect, provide for and love them, teaching them to adore him with all their hearts. I dove in with great anticipation and a sense of assurance that my parenting would far exceed anything I could imagine -- not because I thought I was invincible, but because someone greater was fueling this desire and longing in my heart. Over the years, I saw God do the miraculous as he took my prayers, transformed them by his power, and developed character, love and hope in our children. It wasn’t easy or clean like I’d imagined; it was complicated and messy, but God was at work nonetheless.

Being a mom has honestly been the most fulfilling and rewarding experience of my life. I’ve said it many times and mean it that if I could go back and parent the girls ten more times I’d joyfully do it -- provided I could turn back the clock and have the same energy I had in the beginning. With each time, I’d likely grow wiser and do a better job in many areas, but as many do overs as I was given I’d never be able to escape the reality that life is messy and complicated and I’ll never be perfect. Living in a redeemed yet broken world means that there will always be interlocking joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, gain and loss, met and unmet needs, life and death. Like two sides of a coin, they remain together.
 

As the girls have grown up and are entering a new phase of life, they’ve opened up and shared with me areas where they’ve had extreme disappointment and even anger because of things I’ve done or not done. I’m honored that they feel the freedom to speak the truth in love to me so that we can grow together and move past the pain. In many ways I’ve needed to ask forgiveness for botched parenting, sin patterns that I ignored or was blind to that negatively impacted them. However, my initial response was defensive anger and shock that they’d consider finding fault with what I worked so hard to do well.  As the anger diminished, I was able to face the truth of what they were saying, which freed me to look back at those snapshots over the years and admit that I was wrong, that I didn’t in many cases do what was wise or right, that even though I did a lot of good, it was mixed with some really bad decisions and actions that hurt my children. This insight gave way to grief, repentance (I pray), and a renewed sense of God’s grace and forgiveness as well as his promise it’s never too late to change.
 

After the worst storm, the sun shines brighter and everything has a fresh new sparkle. That’s what it felt like when these truths, painful ones, were spoken in love. First came the clouds, then the torrential rain. But the story didn’t, doesn’t, stop there. Joy and hope are shining brighter in my heart as I accept the reality that I’ll blow it many more times over the next twenty or so years. I’ll do a lot of things wonderfully well as a mom, but I’ll also miss the mark and bring sorrow into their lives when my intention is the opposite. My hope is no longer in my parenting perfection, but in God’s promise that as I cling to him, walk in in his Spirit and trust him and his promises, he’ll make everything, even my extreme blunders, beautiful in his time.

 Though I didn’t mention it in the post, both girls and my husband have also shed tears over the wrong choices and attitudes they’ve had in the past and asked my forgiveness. God is taking us all through a season of cleansing, healing and forgiveness for which we’re all thankful. We haven’t arrived by any means, but God’s Spirit is at work, giving us grace to speak the truth in love and forgive deeply from the heart.

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Eph 4:15