Grace Exceeds the Sum of Our Fears

       In watching The Sum of All Fears last night I realized that the title as well as the plot spoke volumes about the Christian life and facing trials. While God is undoubtedly reigning and ruling the universe, even down to the tiniest molecule, the enemy has been given some measure of freedom to wreck havoc on creation and in God’s people’s lives for a season. Jesus conquered him on the cross, crushing his head and declaring eternal victory over his rule, yet his final destruction won’t occur until the end of time. So he works to create situations and to orchestrate problems that will stir up in us the sum of all our fears so that we’re left powerless, without a passion for God’s glory and his Kingdom.
     As I was watching the movie, I started thinking back on the times over the past 25 years as a Christian that I faced the most overwhelming sorrow and fear, when circumstances seemed to say there was no hope and I should give up. One common theme throughout these experiences was that they equaled the sum of my fears – those things I dreaded most in life. As I reflected on them, I saw that in the middle of these earthshaking, emotion-gripping experiences God beautifully sustained me, provided for all my needs and never allowed me to be destroyed as I’d imagined.
     It's easy to look at past tragedies and say, “But I was left to suffer intensely.” These memories of rigorous suffering block us from seeing and appreciating the greater reality that God did provide relief, healing, restoration and deliverance after a season. The fact that we had to experience those things we dreaded most can leave us with a rift with God and an uncertainty that we can trust him to take care of and protect us in the future. If this happens, we tend to lose our passion to live for his Kingdom and his will and gravitate instead toward self preseveration and comfort. We lose our saltiness and begin to look and act like the rest of the world instead of who we are – children of the most amazing God of the universe.
     When I was a young girl I was raped repeatedly and no one was there to stop it or to protect me. That experience shaped me for the next ten years, and though I’ve been through a lot of healing it’s something I’ll never forget. I’ve wondered why that had to happen to me, why my parents divorced when I was small and my father wasn’t interested in getting to know me, why I struggled with certain things that others didn’t have to endure. Then I wondered for many years why God waited so long to bring me the husband I so wanted, why he allowed us to go through severe testing in the ministry, why he let me suffer from chronic fatigue for up to five years. I wondered why our daughters had certain struggles, why we had to move to Korea when I never wanted to leave the country, why others would ever do and say things to me that were so hurtful. And the list goes on.
     I’ve faced my greatest fears on more than one occasion. But the sum them does not equal defeat. They only represent the middle of the story, rather than the end. When reading any good novel, I rarely give up at a point of great tragedy, since it’s obvious that the author has a plan to reveal more details and likely to bring about change. In fact, I’m usually so sure of a better ending that I skip to the last few pages for reassurance that everything is going to somehow be sorted out and redemption will follow distress and loss.
     As Christians, we know that God promises to sort everything out in the end, that when we enter his presence all sorrow and pain will be removed. But even in this life we’re promised that God will restore us from trials, that he’ll be there with great power to lift us up out of the pits of life and bring deliverance, renewed strength, and a deeper understanding of his unfathomable love. For a season we may face our greatest fears, but he guarantees they won’t consume us. Joy will come in the morning. In 1 Peter 5:10, we’re given this promise: “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” In reflecting on my past tragedies I can see the “already” of him working them out for good. He’s never abandoned me, never left me in a pit. He’s always, at the right time, lifted me up and brought about life-transforming restoration. Though the painful memories are sometimes more present than I’d like, he even uses these to give me compassion for others who are suffering through similar trials (2 Cor 1:3-11). He takes every ingredient in the enemy’s attempt to bring destruction and makes a redemptive masterpiece in its place.
     In light of this reality it makes no sense to dwell on the trauma experienced in the middle of suffering, but rather to focus on the ensuing chapters when God begins putting the pieces back together in a healing and restorative way. I, like you, may have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but we don’t have to allow the enemy or our emotions to distract and terrify us with the sum of all our fears. Instead, we can be certain that as Christians our trials never have a tragic ending. God reaches down, every time, and redeems what looks impossibly broken, no matter how terrible it appears. He gives us beauty for our ashes, and makes everything lovely in his time (Is 61:3, Ecc 3:11). With this certainty, we have all that we need to face today and the rest of our lives with courage and confidence. While we can’t predict what will happen, we know that God has promised that he’ll not only get us through it, but that we’ll come through with great victory (1 Jn 5:4).

Peace Be Still!

     After a long walk on the oceanfront trail, we decided to stop for yogurt on the way home. That’s when my friend discovered her wallet was missing and that she'd probably left it in the taxi on the way to our apartment. Since there are hundreds of different taxis swarming Busan, she couldn’t remember the details about the cab, but she did know that she had several credit cards, her ID and a lot of cash in the wallet. Our hearts sank as we realistically assessed the possibility of ever getting it back.
     After praying, shock slowly gave way to wisdom as God showed us clearly what steps to take: Contact the security guard at the gate with the information and her number in case the taxi returned, call a friend to get the number for the bank, go get her bank book so we could run an update and be sure no one was using the card. While this was happening, God sent one of my best students down the hill. After explaining the situation to him, he joined us in the car as we went back to my friend’s apartment so that she could get the details about her credit cards. As she was upstairs getting information, a police car drove up and two smiling officers got out holding up a wallet and saying my her name. (Earlier Mark had received a call from one of them, since he’d given my friend his business card months ago. But we couldn’t understand him.)
     Thankfully, all her cards were intact, with only the money missing. Though it was a stressful two hours, God was doing so much in each of our lives to teach us incredible lessons and remind us of his faithfulness. I started thinking about how I use the cut and paste option so often in dealing with computer documents and wondered, “What if I were to cut and paste this situation and God’s faithfulness and love demonstrated in it to other situations that were more challenging and lasted longer than two hours, maybe for months and years. And what if in doing so I pasted the anxiety that overtook me for the first hour as we wondered if she’d ever get the wallet and her credit cards back? How much joy and peace could I lose? What if instead I chose at the beginning to praise and thank God for the victory he was going to provide, though I couldn’t be sure what it would entail, so that when he did give an answer I hadn’t lost so much time fretting?”
     Since God showed up in the recovery of her wallet, it’s only logical that he’s here with us in the larger problems like disease, death, loss of a job or home, a rebellious child, loneliness and depression. It’s natural to grieve and to feel fear and even to experience waves of anxiety (something that unfortunately happens to me often in trials). But we do make a choice about whether we’re going to live or remain in the fear. Feeling these emotions is something we can’t control; embracing them and letting them define us is. God commands and exhorts us not to be afraid or terrified (365 times “fear not” is mentioned in the Bible), because he doesn’t want us walking around living like we’re scared to death about anything, even the Goliath’s in our lives. Why? Because he’s absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, going to intervene on our behalf. It’s not something we can only hope for, but a promise he’s made that he will rescue and deliver us, that he takes delight in caring for his children (Ps 50:15, Ps 91:14, Zeph 3:17, 2 Tim 4:18, 2 Cor 1:10).
     One of my favorite reminders of this is in Psalm 18 where David uses a metaphor to describe God’s zealous passion to protect and rescue his children. God mounts his chariot, riding through the clouds with flames coming out of his nostrils. He shoots arrows, scatters the enemies and then achieves his ultimate goal from the start: “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me” (Ps 18:16-19.
     This is sometimes hard for us to wrap our minds around isn't it -- that God delights in rescuing, protecting and providing for us. But he says it persistently in his Word. In fact, the Bible paints a continual picture of God reaching down, a zillion times it seems, and lifting his beloved out of pits, restoring their hope, healing them, giving them comfort and repeatedly exhorting them not to fear because he’s with them.
     Yahweh, the great I AM, the God who parted waters, knocked down strongholds, defeated powerful armies, healed diseases and raised his Son from the dead, is with us, living inside us by his Spirit and even taking hold of our right hand (Is 41:13). He says in Isaiah 41:14, “I myself will help you.” He’s not too important to snatch three men from a fire or to deliver one of his children from the lion’s den. He’s never too preoccupied to take care of a lonely woman at a well or to meet a worn out prophet in the wilderness and encourage him. His compassion toward us is so immense that it surpasses knowledge (Ep 3:19). We look at our children when they suffer and do everything we can to alleviate their trials. God looks at our suffering and in wisdom does what is necessary to not only comfort and help us but to allow us to learn and grow from the difficulty.
     God’s call to us today is to remember his unfathomable love and faithfulness in the past, to cut and paste the reality of it onto our present situations so that we can relax and know he’s God (Ps 46:10). The waves may try to overtake us and the fire may threaten our destruction, but God says, “Peace be still” (Mk 4:30). By standing on his promises, we can enter his rest, even in the most troubling times.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go" (Jos 1:9).

Love Never Fails!

      In class we’ve been talking about different scenarios and how we’d respond to them. One of our questions was, “What would you do if you hit someone’s car in a parking lot and no one was there to see it happen?” The responses of the students included everything from taking responsibility for the accident and leaving a note on the car to driving off quickly so no one could catch them. One student, a leader in our class, overheard some joking about it and said out loud, “I would not just drive off. If I did, I’d be trash.” In his mind, trash meant someone who had no code of ethics, someone who wasn’t committed to honoring Christ’s values over the world's.
     I know in the states we often use the word trash in a somewhat different context, but I appreciated his remark and it stuck with me as we were talking later that week about loving our enemies. Jesus said that if we love those who love us we’re no better than the tax collectors (Matt 5:46). Most of my students haven’t heard of a tax collector, so they just stared back at me with blank faces. Because I don’t know the Korean word for tax collector, I decided to use Jason’s word as a substitute and said, “If we only love those who love us, we’re no better than trash.” They immediately made the connection, and started nodding their heads.
     We started talking about what it means to love our enemies, to pray for those who abuse and misuse us and do all kinds of evil toward us. Jesus says we’re to bless them; not curse them. We’re to do good to them; not return evil for evil (Matt 5:44). The students and I know, without even having to say a word, that this kind of love is impossible apart from the grace and mercy of God. Our natural inclination is to get people back, put them in their place when they hurt us, demand retribution and make them suffer for any harm they’ve caused us. We often get revenge by passive and active aggression, which includes everything from ignoring the person to telling lies about them to destroy their reputation. Because it comes so naturally, it often feels good – at first. But after the dust settles, and the Spirit of God begins to work in our hearts, conviction sets in and we feel grieved. We lose the joy and peace of God and begin to live a fruitless, angry, bitter existence. Until we repent and walk in love, our lives lose their fragrance and vitality.
     On the other hand, if we dare to believe God that loving and blessing our enemies is the way to grow in grace, honor him, advance his Kingdom and even, many times, win the hearts of those who despise us, then we’ll be amazed at what happens. We may not see the results for weeks or even years. In fact, initially, we’ll often feel like we’re the big loser since we’re giving up the right to fight back with anger. But as we step out in faith through each interaction taking thoughts of evil and revenge captive to the obedience of Christ and refusing, by his grace, to retaliate, we’ll experience an ever increasing joy and peace and even love for those who we have absolutely no human reason to love. We begin to see the miracle of God’s grace unfolding as he opens more doors for us to share this truth with others, to encourage them to love, and we’re given a new spiritual freedom beyond our understanding to live abundant lives for the glory of God.
     Love never fails (1 Cor 13:12)! God always has and always will bless faith and obedience to his Word. He says in Psalm 23 that he “prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies.” He says also that he knows how to rescue the righteous from trials and from the wicked (2 Pet 2:9). It’s his job to avenge, not ours (Rom 12:19). It’s his great joy to lift up those who are oppressed and downtrodden, to anoint our heads with oil so that our cup of joy overflows. He’s our fortress, our deliverer, our refuge and our Lord. As he goes before us, he guarantees that “no weapon formed against us will prevail” and that he will fight our battles for us (Is 54:17, 2 Chr 20:17). We can relax and know that he means what he says, that as we pray for and bless our enemies and praise him for his faithfulness to his Word we’re already overcoming evil and taking part in the most incredible work on earth – being living vessels of his supernatural love. With this, our heart cry becomes, “May your Kingdom (of love and righteousness and peace) come. May your will be done.”

 “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Jn 13:35