Standing on God's Promises

“When you walk through the waters, I will be with you; and when you go through the fire the flames will not set you ablaze.” Is 43:2

      I’ve found myself in the middle of tumultuous waters these past six months. As one wave passes and the atmosphere calms, another begins cresting in the distance mounting with what seems to be supernatural force. This unrelenting pattern has played out week after week as I’ve attempted to plant my feet on the rock and claim this promise – that God is with me and I won’t be drowned. But the daily challenge is learning to face down feelings which are diametrically opposed to what God says about my situation. I’m discovering that there’s no place for middle ground in this battle. I’m either trusting in God’s promises and fighting the lies, or lying on the ground having been beaten up by them.
      As Joshua was looking over the horizon at the stormy waters that awaited the Israelites in Canaan, God commanded him, “Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go.” Jos 1:9. In the past, I’ve prayed this passage with a pleading request that God wouldn’t allow me to feel terrified or discouraged – that he’d either anesthetize my feelings or, better yet, take them away. Throughout whatever trial I was in I’d repeat the verse over and over -- often with intense frustration as I continued to experience terrifying feelings.
      When I entered this storm, I looked with dread at this verse which hadn't seemed to work for me. But something happened as I was re-reading the passage, and I saw for the first time a two letter word I’d never noticed before – be. God’s encouragement to Joshua was not to be terrified or discouraged or rather not to live like and act like a person who is ruled by these feelings. Why? Because of the certain fact that the mighty God of the universe was with him.
      In the same way, he was saying to me that because of who he is, what he’s done for me, and my secure position in Christ, I’m not to walk, talk and live like one who is ruled by fear. I, like Joshua, am forever united to God through Christ, with the Holy Spirit indwelling me and God’s angels surrounding me to minister to my needs. I’m not alone. I’m “more than a conqueror through him.” I may feel like anything but that – isolated, overwhelmed or discouraged. But these waves of feelings don’t change the certainty that I belong to God and am forever in his care. My security is a fact that cannot be moved or removed no matter how great the trouble I’m facing.
      I’ve allowed my feelings many times to dictate my actions thinking that it’s natural to do so. But God says that where my feelings run contrary to his Word I can relax and know that they are not the measure of what’s real in my life. With this insight, I began praying through this verse in a different way, giving freedom to my emotions at certain points to peak and crest with the trial, but resolving that in Christ I am NOT one who is terrified or discouraged.
      Corrie Ten Boom gives a great example of how feelings eventually change once we’ve taken steps of obedience. She uses the illustration of a steeple bell which when pulled a few times, continues chiming, even after the rope has been released. Though it takes time for the ringing to cease, eventually the bell will stop and follow the action which has been taken. The same is true, she argues, for us as we learn to walk by faith and not by our feelings with regard to everything from forgiveness to other trials in life. If we wait until we feel like it to trust and obey God’s Word we may remain in our state of fear and indecision. Likewise, if we allow our feelings to define the power and efficacy of God’s Word, we’ll often be deceived into thinking that his promises are impotent.
       God promises his presence in our lives. Not only that, but he goes ahead of us into future trials and uncertainties. The enemies that threaten to defeat us have already been destroyed by him at the cross, and the battle that’s waging has already been won. As his sons and daughters, our value and significance are immeasurable, and God guarantees that nothing, not even tumultuous storms or emotions, will ever be able to come between us and his love. He assures us that his power is mightily at work in us to “will and to act according to his good pleasure” even when we don’t see it, sense it or feel it. And ultimately we have the promise that he’s working every trial and hardship for our good and his glory. We have this certain victory in Christ, and by faith we can rest upon it.

“Feelings come and feelings go,
And feelings are deceiving;
My warrant is the Word of God--
Naught else is worth believing.

Though all my heart should feel condemned
For want of some sweet token,
There is One greater than my heart
Whose Word cannot be broken.

I'll trust in God's unchanging Word
Till soul and body sever,
For, though all things shall pass away,
HIS WORD SHALL STAND FOREVER!”

Martin Luther

Forgiveness

     We’ve been talking about forgiveness in my sophomore English class this week. As we’ve muddled through such issues as forgiving repeat offenses and releasing  others from our anger, I’ve unfortunately come to the realization that there are people in my life right now I haven’t forgiven. I’m learning that it’s one thing to teach and talk about forgiving and quite another to put into practice.

     My mom shared a similar sentiment over Skype this week. She’s been studying a book about forgiveness in her Sunday school class for “who knows how long” she said. We talked about how satisfying it is to study forgiveness, to analyze and dissect it, but when it comes to taking the step of faith to release someone from our grip of anger many of us are at a stalemate!

     Thankfully, God’s relentless pursuit of holiness has kept me from escaping into my insistence for retaliation, or worse yet, denial. As I’ve hidden out in quiet corners hoping to veil my anger from his gaze the Spirit’s presence has become almost unbearable.  I’ve been faced with a choice -- the same one that I so boldly laid before my students.  Either I can forgive as I’ve been forgiven, and release my anger and vengeance to the Lord. Or I can hold onto it with gripped fists, demanding retribution and blocking the joy God so graciously wants me to experience.

     Like most people I’ve been hurt beyond my own ability to forgive. With life and love come offenses that have left me feeling anything but whole – cutting words, forgotten promises and blatant lies. From the lesser to the greater they’ve done their work on my heart, leaving me feeling vulnerable and afraid to trust again. Somehow I convince myself that by holding onto the bitterness I’m getting adequate payback for what someone’s done. But reality has it that I’m the main casualty in my decision to grasp onto anger.

     Forgiveness is costly. It’s costing me my pride and my right to get even. As God’s child I’m commanded to step out in faith and release my anger and bitterness, entrusting my offenders to God’s gracious, yet perfect, discipline.  This involves trusting that he knows exactly what he’s doing and that he’ll be faithful to deal with those who’ve hurt me in a way that is loving and just.  Choosing to forgive is risky, no doubt, but the alternative is deadly and certain.  I’m reminded of this verse on many occasions when I think I have the right to cling to bitterness and withhold forgiveness. Ouch!

“If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”  1 John 4:20 

For Our Good and His Glory

     Coming to grips with the power and majesty of God was integral to my becoming a Christian. Before this happened, I thought that I was in control of my life -- that I was the one making my way. When God opened my eyes, the fog cleared and I saw him high and lifted up, the great God who not only created me but who orders my steps and has a good plan for my future.

     God’s sovereignty brought comfort, but it also sparked fear in my heart. As an unbeliever I chose my own way down whatever path appealed to my flesh. Now, I'm following God down the path that he’s chosen for me which is always a walk of faith. He doesn’t give me an itinerary for what’s going to happen over my lifetime but guarantees that he’s good, faithful, powerful, loving and desires only for what’s best for me. His path isn’t the easiest, but it’s the one that he’s designed to grow me in Christ-likeness and trust.

     These past few weeks our family has been talking about decisions we’ve made and how they’ve impacted us. Our daughter has come back to Korea after two years of living at a boarding school and coming home every two months during breaks. God miraculously opened a door for her to attend an international school here which before was way out of our price range. As she thinks back to her years at her school she’s faced with many questions. It was a tough place for her where she didn’t feel embraced, where there were more rules than there was acceptance and where she always felt judged. It left her with a bad taste in her mouth and some anger toward God about why he allowed it happen.

     We’ve come to the conclusion that we’ll never know why. She grew a lot spiritually and emotionally while living abroad and at the same time experienced some deep wounds. The two are undeniably connected. While we’re grateful for the blessings, we’re praying for healing for those things that have brought so much pain. And we’re trying to encourage her to let go of the right to understand why it all happened the way it did and why God didn’t protect her from the suffering.

     On many occasions I've been perplexed as well. I've cried out for God's wisdom and and ended up in a fiery furnace instead of the green pasture I'd so longed for. I don’t understand why. Sometimes God reveals it to us, but other times we just have to rest and trust in his goodness. I’ve prayed for short periods of time and had amazing breakthroughs, and at other times I’ve prayed for many years with no perceived change in my situation. There’s no logical way to understand it.

     The bottom line is (if I'm honest) that God’s plans often leave me mystified. I trust and follow him because he’s good and trustworthy – not because he’s containable and tameable. His goodness doesn’t negate the reality that this is a fallen, sinful world that's impacted every molecule of creation. God has redeemed me and promised to use (not remove) hardships to grow me, not to destroy me, and to make me into the image of his Son.

     While I can’t figure God out, I'm can apply his word to these situations and come up with an equation that’s infallible -- God’s love and power plus hardships and difficulties always results in blessings. I can stand on this unshakable promise that “God causes ALL things to work together for good for those who love him who are called according to his purpose.” All pain, all disappointment, all loss, all misfortune, all disaster. No exceptions.

     I had somewhat of an epiphany about this today as Mark and I were climbing nearly two hundred stairs by the ocean. Since it's the first day of our holiday it was "supposed" to be a fun outing. But I was having anything but fun. As I huffed and puffed behind him my mind was swimming with thoughts of what I'd rather be doing -- sitting on the couch, for one, reading a book and drinking coffee. And then I thought about how good this exercise, fresh air and sunshine was for my health. What felt terrible was a blessing and vice versa (couch potatoes are known to have a shorter life span). Other scenarios flooded my mind as I realized that so much of life that's good for me doesn't feel so great when I'm doing it. On the other hand, those things which are often unhealthy and even lethal give me temporary satisfaction.

     Basically, I'm inclined to think what's easy and enjoyable is what's best for me. But God has greater wisdom that sees beyond the surface. He loves me too much to let me choose paths that nurture my flesh and not my spirit. Judging something as good or bad just because it feels or doesn't feel comfortable makes no sense at all when applied to everyday life, so why should I apply the same faulty logic to the bigger issues? God is God and I'm not. Because he knows what's right for me I can trust and thank him in all situations, not because I enjoy suffering and pain, but because I know that "he's at work in me" and he loves me with a pure, reliable and perfect love -- one that will never fail!

 One of my favorite reminders of his amazing love!                               http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suMhQ3ETCyI