Forgiveness

     We’ve been talking about forgiveness in my sophomore English class this week. As we’ve muddled through such issues as forgiving repeat offenses and releasing  others from our anger, I’ve unfortunately come to the realization that there are people in my life right now I haven’t forgiven. I’m learning that it’s one thing to teach and talk about forgiving and quite another to put into practice.

     My mom shared a similar sentiment over Skype this week. She’s been studying a book about forgiveness in her Sunday school class for “who knows how long” she said. We talked about how satisfying it is to study forgiveness, to analyze and dissect it, but when it comes to taking the step of faith to release someone from our grip of anger many of us are at a stalemate!

     Thankfully, God’s relentless pursuit of holiness has kept me from escaping into my insistence for retaliation, or worse yet, denial. As I’ve hidden out in quiet corners hoping to veil my anger from his gaze the Spirit’s presence has become almost unbearable.  I’ve been faced with a choice -- the same one that I so boldly laid before my students.  Either I can forgive as I’ve been forgiven, and release my anger and vengeance to the Lord. Or I can hold onto it with gripped fists, demanding retribution and blocking the joy God so graciously wants me to experience.

     Like most people I’ve been hurt beyond my own ability to forgive. With life and love come offenses that have left me feeling anything but whole – cutting words, forgotten promises and blatant lies. From the lesser to the greater they’ve done their work on my heart, leaving me feeling vulnerable and afraid to trust again. Somehow I convince myself that by holding onto the bitterness I’m getting adequate payback for what someone’s done. But reality has it that I’m the main casualty in my decision to grasp onto anger.

     Forgiveness is costly. It’s costing me my pride and my right to get even. As God’s child I’m commanded to step out in faith and release my anger and bitterness, entrusting my offenders to God’s gracious, yet perfect, discipline.  This involves trusting that he knows exactly what he’s doing and that he’ll be faithful to deal with those who’ve hurt me in a way that is loving and just.  Choosing to forgive is risky, no doubt, but the alternative is deadly and certain.  I’m reminded of this verse on many occasions when I think I have the right to cling to bitterness and withhold forgiveness. Ouch!

“If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”  1 John 4:20