Friday, September 28, 2012

For Our Good and His Glory



     Coming to grips with the power and majesty of God was integral to my becoming a Christian. Before this happened, I thought that I was in control of my life -- that I was the one making my way. When God opened my eyes, the fog cleared and I saw him high and lifted up, the great God who not only created me but who orders my steps and has a good plan for my future.
     God’s sovereignty brought comfort, but it also sparked fear in my heart. As an unbeliever I chose my own way down whatever path appealed to my flesh. Now, I'm following God down the path that he’s chosen for me which is always a walk of faith. He doesn’t give me an itinerary for what’s going to happen over my lifetime but guarantees that he’s good, faithful, powerful, loving and desires only for what’s best for me. His path isn’t the easiest, but it’s the one that he’s designed to grow me in Christ-likeness and trust.
     These past few weeks our family has been talking about decisions we’ve made and how they’ve impacted us. Our daughter has come back to Korea after two years of living at a boarding school and coming home every two months during breaks. God miraculously opened a door for her to attend an international school here which before was way out of our price range. As she thinks back to her years at her school she’s faced with many questions. It was a tough place for her where she didn’t feel embraced, where there were more rules than there was acceptance and where she always felt judged. It left her with a bad taste in her mouth and some anger toward God about why he allowed it happen.
     We’ve come to the conclusion that we’ll never know why. She grew a lot spiritually and emotionally while living abroad and at the same time experienced some deep wounds. The two are undeniably connected. While we’re grateful for the blessings, we’re praying for healing for those things that have brought so much pain. And we’re trying to encourage her to let go of the right to understand why it all happened the way it did and why God didn’t protect her from the suffering.
     On many occasions I've been perplexed as well. I've cried out for God's wisdom and and ended up in a fiery furnace instead of the green pasture I'd so longed for. I don’t understand why. Sometimes God reveals it to us, but other times we just have to rest and trust in his goodness. I’ve prayed for short periods of time and had amazing breakthroughs, and at other times I’ve prayed for many years with no perceived change in my situation. There’s no logical way to understand it.
     The bottom line is (if I'm honest) that God’s plans often leave me mystified. I trust and follow him because he’s good and trustworthy – not because he’s containable and tameable. His goodness doesn’t negate the reality that this is a fallen, sinful world that's impacted every molecule of creation. God has redeemed me and promised to use (not remove) hardships to grow me, not to destroy me, and to make me into the image of his Son.
     While I can’t figure God out, I'm can apply his word to these situations and come up with an equation that’s infallible -- God’s love and power plus hardships and difficulties always results in blessings. I can stand on this unshakable promise that “God causes ALL things to work together for good for those who love him who are called according to his purpose.” All pain, all disappointment, all loss, all misfortune, all disaster. No exceptions.
     I had somewhat of an epiphany about this today as Mark and I were climbing nearly two hundred stairs by the ocean. Since it's the first day of our holiday it was "supposed" to be a fun outing. But I was having anything but fun. As I huffed and puffed behind him my mind was swimming with thoughts of what I'd rather be doing -- sitting on the couch, for one, reading a book and drinking coffee. And then I thought about how good this exercise, fresh air and sunshine was for my health. What felt terrible was a blessing and vice versa (couch potatoes are known to have a shorter life span). Other scenarios flooded my mind as I realized that so much of life that's good for me doesn't feel so great when I'm doing it. On the other hand, those things which are often unhealthy and even lethal give me temporary satisfaction.
     Basically, I'm inclined to think what's easy and enjoyable is what's best for me. But God has greater wisdom that sees beyond the surface. He loves me too much to let me choose paths that nurture my flesh and not my spirit. Judging something as good or bad just because it feels or doesn't feel comfortable makes no sense at all when applied to everyday life, so why should I apply the same faulty logic to the bigger issues? God is God and I'm not. Because he knows what's right for me I can trust and thank him in all situations, not because I enjoy suffering and pain, but because I know that "he's at work in me" and he loves me with a pure, reliable and perfect love -- one that will never fail!
 One of my favorite reminders of his amazing love!                               http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suMhQ3ETCyI