Repetition envelops us each day as we weave life patterns. Without even realizing it, we choose colors and threads that form the tapestry of our future, our children’s and their children’s. Abraham wove a pattern of deception when he chose to lie about Sarah being his wife. And we see the same choices in his son, Isaac, when faced with similar challenges. Jacob’s choice of threads was unmistakably woven into his wife’s and sons’ lives. And Esau’s decision to harbor bitterness toward his brother formed the tapestry of destruction for many generations.
How do we break these sin patterns so our children can start afresh, free from the entangling cords that have bound us and our parents? Does God desire to see us break free from them or are we destined to repeat them? And how do we begin to find freedom when we’re blind to most of the sins that define us? When I was in seminary I took a counseling course which forced us to step back and look at three generations of life patterns in our families. We were assigned a genealogy project that required interviews with our parents and grandparents with the intention of finding common threads of choices that led to everything from greatness to destruction. The goal wasn’t to discourage us, but to take us on a journey of reflection so that understanding could help us in the future.
We’re often blind to our own sin patterns unless we’re forced to examine them in the light of truth. It’s much easier to gaze upon someone else’s life and find everything that’s wrong. That’s why Jesus was always rebuking the Pharasees whose skill seemed to be the art of fault finding with others while they committed the same sins with even greater intensity. Their precision in scrutinizing other’s ugliness kept them afloat in the journey of self righteous living, enabling them to further exalt themselves with each new discovery. Jesus rebuked them flatly, saying that they needed to get the plank out of their own eye before they even began the process of removing the speck from another’s.
Just the other day one of our daughters called, crying because of someone's harsh criticism. It wasn't shared in such a way to build her up, but rather to point out her shortcomings while they called attention to their own adherence to the rules. I reminded her that legalistic rules and regulations (don’t touch, don’t eat, don’t drink) are much easier to adhere to than righteous living that comes from an abiding relationship with Christ. God isn’t interested in our rule laden existence. In fact, he hates it so much that he sent his own Son to die so that we could have genuine righteousness that flows from a pure heart and mind.
When God calls us to self-examination, he’s not calling us to the kind that we conjure up ourselves as we pull up our bootstraps, determined to make our lives better. No, the self examination he calls us to is directed by Him, led by his Spirit, based upon his Word and accomplished through his power, not our own self will. Looking at Abraham’s, Isaac's, and Jacob’s lives has reminded me of just how vital it is. Though they often walked by faith and followed God, their sins impacted future generations as they repeated the same bad decisions and actions which waylaid them and their loved ones.
I’ve been asking God to gently (and slowly, please!) show me some of the sin patterns in my life that are affecting my family. It’s painful to look at these oozing sores, but the healing ointment of his grace can’t be applied until they’re brought into the light, washed and cleaned. God's kindness and patience are leading me to this awakened desire for change. He hasn't forced it on me like I'm prone to do with others, but is showing me the truth and allowing me to come to a place where I hate my sin so much that I'm willing to call out to him for help.
One of my favorite musicians is Sara Groves who sings folksy, yet deep, songs about the Christian life. One of her best is a song called "Generations" which speaks to my heart each time I hear it. Hope it inspires you as well.
I can taste the fruit of Eve
I’m aware of sickness, death and disease
The results of our choices are vast
Eve was the first but she wasn’t the last
And if I were honest with myself
Had I been standing at that tree
My mouth and my hands would be covered with fruit
Things I shouldn’t know and things I shouldn’t see
Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know
She taught me to fear the serpent
I’m learning the fear myself
And all of the things I am capable of
In my search for wisdom, acceptance and wealth
And to say that the devil made me do it
Is a cop out and a lie
The devil can’t make me do anything
When I’m calling on Jesus Christ
Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know
To my great, great, great granddaughter
Live in peace
To my great, great, great grandson
Live in peace
I’m aware of sickness, death and disease
The results of our choices are vast
Eve was the first but she wasn’t the last
And if I were honest with myself
Had I been standing at that tree
My mouth and my hands would be covered with fruit
Things I shouldn’t know and things I shouldn’t see
Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know
She taught me to fear the serpent
I’m learning the fear myself
And all of the things I am capable of
In my search for wisdom, acceptance and wealth
And to say that the devil made me do it
Is a cop out and a lie
The devil can’t make me do anything
When I’m calling on Jesus Christ
Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know
To my great, great, great granddaughter
Live in peace
To my great, great, great grandson
Live in peace
