Living in Korea changed me more than I realized. In fact, it wasn’t until coming back to the states that I could see how God masterfully used all the struggles of living abroad to mold me into a different person. When I left America, I felt like I was losing everything….my house, friends, hometown, the comforts of living in a place that was familiar to me. But as the days spilled into weeks this summer, I’ve realized that God wanted me to leave these things behind so that I could gain a new perspective on life and experience more fully the freedom he bought for me in Christ.
Like most everyone else in the world I long for security so that I don’t have to fear what tomorrow brings. It’s so easy to convince myself that the obsession to control and possess people and things is a necessary solution for this need for security. I reason that because every woman wants a nice home it’s okay if I make that a priority. Or because money is essential for life, it’s normal that I’m constantly focused on how much I have. But instead of the steady focus bringing comfort and helping me conquer fear it enslaves me to the things I pursue, causing me to lose passion and perspective about why I’m actually on this earth. I used to think my purpose in life was to marry a nice man, have beautiful, intelligent children, live a comfortable life and amass as much “stuff” as I could so that I could live out my final days on earth in comfort and ease. This seemed to be the way everyone else was doing life, even in the church, so I categorized it as normal and set out to make it my goal. But God had a different plan.
When we moved to Korea, we decided to leave everything behind except for two suitcases each which we carefully packed. We arrived at our apartment to find it sparsely furnished with simple beds, a kitchen table and a couch -- no pictures, rugs, bric-a-brac, curtains. Just a bare apartment that was about one third the size of our previous home. No yard, no trees, no grass. We did what most people would do and went out to try to find “stuff” to put in our apartment to make it home. We learned where to shop to buy “stuff” to wear and “stuff” to eat and “stuff” to decorate with. But no matter what we put there, we couldn’t deny the fact that it wasn’t what we were used to.
There have been times when I’m cooking in our small kitchen at a counter that seems designed for midgets or looking out over the patchwork gardens and cement houses where people are barely making ends meet that I want to shake myself, hop on a plane and run for home. But then I remember what it is that God has been slowly teaching me these past three years – that as much as I love America it’s not going to make me happy. No matter how much it comforts me to be there, he’s placed a longing in my heart for something more. The Spirit witnesses with my spirit most every day that God has a plan for my life and purposes for me that transcend the walls of a home or earthly comforts. He wants me to learn to live by faith and depend on him in an ever increasing way. Sometimes he accomplishes this through simple things, other times he takes me to a far off place where I have nothing but him and he once again reminds me about my ultimate goal – to live and move and have my being in him.
I’m learning to say what the apostle Paul said in Romans 14:8, “If I live, I live for Christ. If I die, I die for Christ. Whether I live or whether I die, I live or die for Christ.” It often helps when I’m feeling sorry for myself or worrying about tomorrow to take it a step further and say. “If I have a home or don’t, have money or am broke, am healthy or sick, have a good or a bad job, lose all I hold dear or am blessed with much, I belong to Christ and he alone is my treasure.”
With this focus, my thinking is realigned with God’s perspective. I’m reminded that I’ve died with Christ and am now raised up with him to live a new life in a new way with new goals and purposes (Col 3:1-11). I don’t have to strive for and fret over what’s going to happen to me because he’s guaranteed through the blood of Christ that he’ll never leave me or forsake me (Matt 6:31). He promises that if I seek him first he’ll give me everything I need (Matt 6:33). If I make him my treasure, I’ll be filled with joy unspeakable, a heart at peace and a purpose driven life that far exceeds anything I can strive after or achieve on my own (Ps 1:3).
When I do finally die one day, I don’t want to be remembered as someone who clung desperately to this life. Instead I want to be remembered as someone who really believed the Gospel and lived like it was the greatest reality in the world. I want to be able to say to God (by his grace and the power of his spirit) over and over again and mean it, “I’ll go where you want me to go, do what you want me to do, be who you want me to be because you’re my Lord and my God. You’re my treasure.”
Randy Alcorn on the Treasure Principle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDmS3sDFouk
