Generations Will Reap What I Sow

     Repetition envelops us each day as we weave life patterns. Without even realizing it, we choose colors and threads that form the tapestry of our future, our children’s and their children’s. Abraham wove a pattern of deception when he chose to lie about Sarah being his wife. And we see the same choices in his son, Isaac, when faced with similar challenges. Jacob’s choice of threads was unmistakably woven into his wife’s and sons’ lives. And Esau’s decision to harbor bitterness toward his brother formed the tapestry of destruction for many generations.

     How do we break these sin patterns so our children can start afresh, free from the entangling cords that have bound us and our parents? Does God desire to see us break free from them or are we destined to repeat them? And how do we begin to find freedom when we’re blind to most of the sins that define us? When I was in seminary I took a counseling course which forced us to step back and look at three generations of life patterns in our families. We were assigned a genealogy project that required interviews with our parents and grandparents with the intention of finding common threads of choices that led to everything from greatness to destruction. The goal wasn’t to discourage us, but to take us on a journey of reflection so that understanding could help us in the future.

     We’re often blind to our own sin patterns unless we’re forced to examine them in the light of truth. It’s much easier to gaze upon someone else’s life and find everything that’s wrong. That’s why Jesus was always rebuking the Pharasees whose skill seemed to be the art of fault finding with others while they committed the same sins with even greater intensity. Their precision in scrutinizing other’s ugliness kept them afloat in the journey of self righteous living, enabling them to further exalt themselves with each new discovery. Jesus rebuked them flatly, saying that they needed to get the plank out of their own eye before they even began the process of removing the speck from another’s.

     Just the other day one of our daughters called, crying because of someone's harsh criticism. It wasn't shared in such a way to build her up, but rather to point out her shortcomings while they called attention to their own adherence to the rules. I reminded her that legalistic rules and regulations (don’t touch, don’t eat, don’t drink) are much easier to adhere to than righteous living that comes from an abiding relationship with Christ. God isn’t interested in our rule laden existence. In fact, he hates it so much that he sent his own Son to die so that we could have genuine righteousness that flows from a pure heart and mind.

     When God calls us to self-examination, he’s not calling us to the kind that we conjure up ourselves as we pull up our bootstraps, determined to make our lives better. No, the self examination he calls us to is directed by Him, led by his Spirit, based upon his Word and accomplished through his power, not our own self will. Looking at Abraham’s, Isaac's, and Jacob’s lives has reminded me of just how vital it is. Though they often walked by faith and followed God, their sins impacted future generations as they repeated the same bad decisions and actions which waylaid them and their loved ones. 

     I’ve been asking God to gently (and slowly, please!) show me some of the sin patterns in my life that are affecting my family. It’s painful to look at these oozing sores, but the healing ointment of his grace can’t be applied until they’re brought into the light, washed and cleaned. God's kindness and patience are leading me to this awakened desire for change. He hasn't forced it on me like I'm prone to do with others, but is showing me the truth and allowing me to come to a place where I hate my sin so much that I'm willing to call out to him for help. 

     One of my favorite musicians is Sara Groves who sings folksy, yet deep, songs about the Christian life. One of her best is a song called "Generations" which speaks to my heart each time I hear it. Hope it inspires you as well.

I can taste the fruit of Eve
I’m aware of sickness, death and disease
The results of our choices are vast
Eve was the first but she wasn’t the last

And if I were honest with myself
Had I been standing at that tree
My mouth and my hands would be covered with fruit
Things I shouldn’t know and things I shouldn’t see

Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know

She taught me to fear the serpent
I’m learning the fear myself
And all of the things I am capable of
In my search for wisdom, acceptance and wealth

And to say that the devil made me do it
Is a cop out and a lie
The devil can’t make me do anything
When I’m calling on Jesus Christ

Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know

To my great, great, great granddaughter
Live in peace
To my great, great, great grandson
Live in peace

Even the Darkness is Light to Him

     Light. I love the way it bounces in a room bringing once dull colors and shapes to life. How it radiates through a forest illuminating the path. And when it sparkles off ocean waves and together with the breeze makes me feel all warm inside. It chases away the darkness, reminding me of the presence of God and filling me with a sense of hope.

     This has been the second full week the girls have been gone. Together we boarded a small plane, crossing the ocean to their future home for the next nine months…a Christian school with hundreds of other American kids. I boarded a similar small plane four days later and returned to Korea, feeling like I’d not only left my girls in another country but part of myself.
     No matter how many blinds I pull and how brightly the sun shines through the windows there’s a certain darkness that remains. It’s loneliness, a sense of loss and longing for their presence that even the sunshine in all its splendor can’t chase away. And I’ve succumbed to it in many ways, allowing myself to wallow in self pity as I sit solemnly on the couch or wander into their rooms trying to picture them here again. 

     In the midst of this, I’ve crossed paths with a myriad of others going through much darker times than I am right now. As I listen to their stories and hear about how disappointment has stolen their dreams and robbed them of joy, I’m tempted to throw my hands up in despair. Surely the darkness has overtaken us! Surely there is no real hope of recovery from its murky presence! And I cry out, “Why God? Why do you allow us to go through such difficulties when you could stop them with one word?”

     The other night Mark and I were sitting at the table eating dinner when I brought up my frustration over God’s sovereignty. His simple words to me were, “God is good.” And throughout our conversation, he refused to move from the certain fact that regardless of what I or anyone else experienced whether painful or life threatening….God is good. I left the conversation feeling angry yet relieved. Angry that his goodness was such a mystery to me, but relieved that I married someone who won’t allow anything to obscure or taint God’s character.

     And I began wondering….what if God healed every sickness and disease?  What if He fixed every bad situation we prayed about? Obviously the result would be that none of us would have any problems, at least no long-lasting ones. What if the moment we cried out to him for help, he removed the problem or the trial and we were immediately transferred back to a state of peaceful, carefree existence? I’m wondering what we’d actually learn and how we’d ever grow. Also, I’m wondering how much we’d need him beyond the initial cry for help.

     God could sit down with each of us and explain why we’re going through what we’re going through. And he could give us a detailed accounting of how he intends to work it for good in our lives and the lives of others. He could lay it all out and show us the relevance of all our suffering. But he doesn’t. And we wonder why. If we could just know why, then maybe we could get through it, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so badly.

     J.I. Packer is one of my favorite theologians. In his book, Knowing God, he says that we often feel slighted when God doesn’t give us an insider’s glance into his providence, especially since our relationship as his children puts us in a special place of honor with him. However, because of the vastness of his wisdom, and the interconnecting nature of all the details of existence his plans are so far beyond our comprehension that our understanding of them, even if explained, is impossible. Instead, we have to trust in his perfect goodness and love toward us as well as his commitment to working all things, good and bad, together for our good and his glory.

     Satan would have us forget this goodness. He isolates the darkness and presents it to us in parcels of despair, trying to convince us that there is no Light…..that He’s been snuffed out….that Jesus isn’t at work in this or that particular situation. But the Light of the world is shining and will continue to shine. His can't be snuffed out and his power is such that no one and nothing can contain it. We may sit for a season in a dark corner of the room, devoid of all natural light, but that doesn’t change the fact that the sunshine is still bursting forth with great power illuminating everything in its path with unceasing brightness.

     Stepping out into the sunshine of God’s Word we’re able to once again see the truth that God is indeed the Father of Light. He clothes himself in light and there's no element of darkness (not one single speck of it) in him at all.  Jesus promised that, “He that follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”  No matter how great the darkness, it can’t hide us from God or separate us from his love. 

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,for darkness is as light to you." Psalm 139:7-12